Obama Administration Backs PayDay Loan Industry

Putting to rest rumors that Tennessee Senator Bob Corker was responsible, a senior official confirmed today that the Obama administration was responsible for efforts to add special protections for payday loan companies to financial regulation legislation working its way through the Senate. The official explained that due to the burgeoning federal deficit, it was important to maintain the viability of payday and title loan companies in case the government requires them as lenders of last resort.

"We need an option if the Chinese stop buying our bonds," the official explained.

Asked for comment, President Obama stated that the time for talking was over and referred any questions to Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, who was last seen shortly after the inauguration. An angry Press Secretary Robert Gibbs chastised reporters raising the question, referring to the question as "old news" being revived as "Republican talking points."

While it is unclear how exactly the program would work, a Treasury Department official, speaking on condition of anonymity, pointed out that many of these businesses would loan cash in exchange for holding a vehicle title. "We believe that Air Force 1 might have some value," he explained.