Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Whimsical Wednesday: Don't Worry Folks, It's Satire -- at Least so Far

The U.S. Senate this week took up legislation that would provide tax relief and other economic incentives to multi-million dollar Power Ball winners who are in danger of needing bankruptcy protection in the current economic downturn.

"These are people who have fallen on hard times," a Senate aide who requested anonymity explained. "Many of them suddenly found themselves with millions of dollars for the first time. No one provided them with the information they needed to manage it. They were typically taken advantage of by big corporations who offered them products and services and even luxury vacations and homes in exchange for this money."

Opponents of the bill warned of the "moral hazard" of rewarding people who had squandered large sums of money in relatively brief periods of time. However, a group of bipartisan Senate leaders argued that providing relief is an issue of basic justice.

"We are bailing out irresponsible financial institutions and home builders, as well as those who took out ill-advised loans they couldn't afford," one Senator explained. "How can we justify not helping out people who have fallen behind just because they didn't know how to handle $50-$100 million? How would you like to go from the Taj Mahal back to the trailer park you used to live in?"

The bill is expected to pass easily in the Senate, but may face more difficulty in the House, where House Speaker Nancy Pelosi complains that it "does not go far enough in providing needed funds to those victimized by corporate greed."


Blogger Lanette said...

Obviously, a certain Oracle, who will remain nameless, has too much time on his hands.

8:47 PM  

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