You Know You Found the Perfect Girlfriend When...

...your new girlfriend, who has an extra Titans' season ticket for use by her date, hands you her binoculars during the Jets game as the cheerleaders are running onto the field during a break.

I looked through the glasses for a moment, then regained my senses and lowered them. "I don't need these," I said. "You're too close."

The Oracle is no fool.