Thursday, June 22, 2006

No to Soccer

With U.S. television viewership of the World Cup less than half that of the national spelling bee, Jonathan Last suggests that this will never be a country of soccer fans. With tongue planted firmly in cheek, he also says that the U.S. winning the event would be a bad thing:

The good news is that it will take a near miracle for the U.S. squad to advance to the next round. That's good because, truth be told, you and I don't care and the rest of the world cares very, very much. An American loss in the World Cup is basically a requirement for international stability. Look how upset everyone got when we toppled a murderous dictator in Iraq. What would happen if America--not just America, but George Bush's America!--won the World Cup? Panic? Riots? The upheaval of civilizations? It wouldn't surprise me if Bush's "pep talk" with Bruce Arena before the Czech game was really a veiled threat: "Hey, coach, good luck out there. If you win, the vice president wants to take you quail hunting."

Read the rest here.


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